Surviving Anniversaries and Other Hard Days…

Q: “ How do I navigate the overwhelm that I feel as the anniversary of my loved one’s death approaches?” A: When we are deeply connected to another and then they are gone, it can be “I don’t want to get out of bed” devastating. So what do we do on the days when we just wish they were around? ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​I have experienced this time and time again ...

How Deep Loss Can Bring Us Together

Upon our return from a wonderful summer adventure, we were thrown into the thrusts of a critical family situation, as Aaron’s grandpa Bob was dying. We spent our first two days back in and out of the hospital. While it was really challenging to witness someone you love dying, we felt so fortunate to have the opportunity to support and be supported by Aaron’s amazing ...

Feeling Absence on Valentine’s Day?

Ohhh love… How is it that love is the most beautiful and most painful experience of life? When we have love, feel love, experience love, it is life giving. When we lose love, it is devastating. Today is Valentine’s Day, a day that commercially represents love. ​​​​​​​And as beautiful is that day is for some, it can be incredibly painful for others. Whether you have experienced ...

5 Tips to Honor a Loved One’s Memory

Yesterday would have been my mom’s 66th birthday. I miss her. I wish I knew what she would look like, act like, and be like now. I wish she were here to know her beautiful granddaughters and see me as a mom. I wish she were here to witness my life and growth and continue being my biggest fan. One thing I have realized, the ...

What to do When Your Birthday Sucks

Today is my birthday!! Woohoo! Another wonderful year ahead I hope. Truth be told, my birthday is a hard day for me… more than almost any other day, my birthday is a day where I really miss my mom. She was really into birthday celebrations and helped make my birthday special time and time again. After she died my birthday just felt like a burden, ...

The Maybe Pile

We spend most of our lives learning how to have more; more friendships, more ‘likes’, more stuff, more degrees, more money, etc.  The other side of that coin is learning how to have less; down-sizing, spring cleaning, ending relationships, etc.  Not only are we ill-equipped in letting go, but we can also experience tremendous resistance, shame, guilt, and sadness. After my mom died it was ...

Why do we cry when famous people die?

When JFK was assassinated 50 years ago, the nation cried.  While I was not alive yet, I have heard stories, seen videos, and even visited the JFK museum in Dallas.   His memory and the tragedy of his death live on as we commemorated the 50th anniversary of his assassination. Last week, on December 5th, Nelson Mandela, a South African anti-apartheid revolutionary, politician, and philanthropist died ...

What to say when someone loses a loved one?

So often people ask me, “what do I say when someone I know has lost a loved one?” While my recommendation may be counter-intuitive to some, the answer is you don’t have to say anything. Being there for someone can mean that you just sit quietly and let them talk.  It may mean letting them cry on your shoulder or giving them a hug.  Sometimes ...

The Silver Linings Of Loss

When loss occurs it is often challenging or even impossible to see the silver lining. However, it is imperative to experience the grief in order to heal. As my clients often hear me say, you have to feel to heal. However, once you have taken action to complete your loss and time has done its work, the silver lining will have an opportunity to present ...

Here I am five years later, facing my past…

We are out at Al Natural Resort on the island where Aaron used to work, where we first fell in love, where we got married, and also where I found out about the tragic death of my dear mother.  I am overcome with emotion as I reflect back upon all that happened on this beach.  There are so many memories here, the highest highs and ...