Preparing for Father's Day
Father's Day is just around the corner and like all holidays, can come with some baggage.
Like Christmas, Valentine's Day, or its close relative, Mother's Day, Father's Day can bring up unresolved grief.
Whether your father is living or dead, available or unavailable, distant or over-bearing, there are always things we wish were different, better, or more. Perhaps your relationship with your dad isn’t what you hoped or dreamed it would be, your dad wasn't around when you were growing up, your parents divorced, you wish you could see him more often, or perhaps you’ve never even met your biological father, etc. Since family can be complicated, it is important to remember Father's Day can be too.
This also includes what it means to be a father. Father's Day can also brings up feelings for men who wanted to be fathers but aren't, who were fathers but who lost their children, or for fathers whose children are no longer in their lives.
Whether this day is a celebration or challenge, be compassionate with yourself and others, as everyone has a story and no relationship is perfect.
Below are helpful reminders as you embark on Father's Day weekend!
If you have or know a great father, thank them!
It is normal to have feelings of sadness, longing, or just wishing things were different, better, or more.
Give yourself permission to feel however you feel.
Whatever your story is, please know that you are not alone. If you have the best dad or the worst dad; if your dad died or you sometimes think that would make it easier; if your relationship with your dad is complicated and healing, or simple and growing; please remember that there is nothing wrong with you.
You may look around this weekend or see a whole bunch of social posts with a whole bunch of people looking happy and celebrating their father, and you may even be one of them. Just know that underneath the surface, everyone has a story, no one is perfect, and we are all just trying to figure it out.
If your dad has died and you miss him, this may be a special opportunity to spend time doing things you loved doing with him. You can also consider doing something that he loved. I encourage you to set aside time to honor him in whatever way feels good to you.
If you have a less than loving relationship with your dad, living or dead, this may be a good opportunity to be kind to yourself. Perhaps do something for yourself that you wish your dad would have done with you or for you.
I hope that reading this message allows you to find peace this Father's Day. To all the Father's out there, good and bad, who gave us life-- thank you.
For more support around grief and relating to one another more kindly through the challenges of life, subscribe to our newsletter and download the Compassion Code Starter Guide here.