The 4 P’s of Parenting

Children teach us who we are and who we want to be. In many ways, having a second child has been much easier than having the first. (Even though I am still not sleeping much:) Remember the definition of grief that we use in at the Grief Recovery Institute? “The end of or change in a familiar patter of behavior.” Well the second time around, ...

In Response to the Shootings…

I don’t know about you, but after the most recent school shooting, the bombings in Austin, and the hundreds of other profoundly sad acts of violence that are occurring all too regularly, I have felt tremendous sadness and frustration. Here are my feelings and thoughts… My heart feels so heavy…   When is enough, enough?   What I think is that these horrendous acts of murder ...

Are you the worst you during the holidays?

Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? I doubt it. While we are in our essence the same as we were when we were two years old, we are also constantly evolving. I don’t know about you, but when I am with my family (particularly during the holidays) I tend to revert back to old behaviors and patterns. If you are dreading ...

Know Your Audience

One of the foundational principles in Grief Recovery work is that we don’t compare losses because as we say in the coaching world, compare leads to despair.  When comparing losses no one wins. If I say, “mine is worse than yours,” it can diminish what you have shared often leaving you feeling smaller, less than, or unimportant. If I say, “yours is the worst,” I ...

How To Quiet Our Self-Criticism…

Through tears my client says, “I am such a failure. I can’t seem to get a grip on this weight thing.” “Tell me more,” I say.    “Well, I am 150 lbs over weight, and I just can’t control my eating. I think I am on track and then something else happens in my life and I fall back into bad habits.”  “You are brilliant,” I ...

What to Say When Someone is Sad…

As we chatted with our daughter Ayla on FaceTime, it was clear that her little heart was hurting to be away from her mommy and daddy. For our 10 year anniversary, Aaron and I decided to go on a little trip to celebrate. This is the first time, since our daughter was born almost two and a half years ago, that we have both been ...

How to Move Through Painful Transitions

The seasons changing. Going through a breakup or divorce. Losing your job or getting a promotion. Moving homes or moving across country. What do all of these have in common? They are all transitions. I am in one right now and it is not easy. For months now I have been struggling with the changes in my life. As of May we decided that we ...

How to Have Compassion for a Killer

Over the last decade in the United States we have seen an increasing number of national tragedies. More mass shootings, more hate crimes, more violence—a world divided. We see it everywhere, and the world is no longer feeling safe. Everyday I avoid watching the news because I know what I will see. I don’t want to see it because it breaks my heart, but just ...

What Does Love Have To Do With Politics?

Why does it seem like we wait for someone to die before we sing their praises? Wouldn’t it be nice for people to know all the lovely things we think and feel about them during life rather than waiting to memorialize them at their grave? Nancy Reagan’s recent death spurred a lot of wonderful commentary about her life, the work she and President Reagan did ...